Saturn Retailer "Jim Phillips" speaks!

You remember me from my last post, don't ya? Well, this time the damned company went OUT OF BUSINESS! No more commercials, no more cars, no more paychecks! What the hell am I supposed to do now? Be the coffee machine man for a Lexus dealership? Hell, at least they are still in business! Brother Evan is right, we need to "split some wigs up in here" and damn fast! This country is going to hell in a Chinese-made handbasket! Hell, maybe Tyler Perry can use me and my family for his next sitcom! Brother Evan has said that he who hesitates isn't going anywhere fast, or some crap like that. You know, Brother Evan changed my life since I started listening to his show. Just yesterday, he called asking for a donation! Donation my ass! I can't even make MY Saturn payment, those bastards are repossessing my new Saturn Aura as we speak! What the hell!
Brother Evan needs money to continue his "ministry" but I'll be damned if I can even give him one dime! He needs money, badly! Listen to the Brother Evan Show on any right-wing radio station in your area, shouldn't be hard, since that is all there is, at around any time(they have a habit of time-shifting his show a lot). Become an advertiser for Brother Evan. Hell, Saturn used to be one, no look at what happened to them! Brother Evan is going to be hosting his own "moneython" on HSN/QVC shortly. Make sure you call often. Praise Brother Evan's Unholy Name! Remember, you can find Brother Evan wherever there is an all-you-can-eat buffett, preferably Chinese, in your area. Brother Evan rarely gets out of the B-D-B Habitatal Area for fear of being pounced on for his views, Praise His Unholy Name! If you happen to see a 10 year old Camry going by, just wave, it might be Brother Evan. He was thinking of going American, but said they are all crap anyway! What the hell? Brother Evan supports our troops around the world, albeit without having served himself, and is a huge supporter of our former VP, Dick Cheney. Brother Evan is starting a Cheney for President site soon, and will, of course, be asking for donations! Brother Evan promises that at LEAST 5% will go to Cheney with the rest going for Brother Evan's massive overhead, hey, he has to make a living also!
Well, got to go service those Keurig machines in the Lexus dealer. Damn, wish I could afford one!