Ben Tavares, former head of maintenance at Central State University when I was a graduate student there in 1975. A pure racial hire, as all he did was drive around in his Dodge truck fucking off and harassing student and permanent workers. Tavares had three main rules: Keepa da floors buffed, the trash cans empty, and the shitter paper roles filled. Tavares was well known for his cost cutting skills. He was the first, and the last, to require half ply toilet paper in all university crappers. After numerous complaints from Deans, Department Chairs and the President himself, Tavares went back to two ply toilet paper in the crappers. Tavares also had a policy for female staff and students to use only “two squares per pud”, which again was short lived. It was later discovered that Tavares owned a shitter paper plant in Juarez, paying shit wages and using child labor.
Tavares also removed all feminine product machines from toilets as he said, “De pud pads chokka de toilets “. Again, Tavares was called on the carpet, but again trumpeted his Hispanic heritage. Ben Tavares could be found at any Taco Bell in the Edmond area or any all you can eat Mexican cafeteria. Ben managed to hang on for several years as he probably had compromised photos of the University staff. When Ben Tavares finally moved to his next position, he could say with pride, “ The shitters always flushed”. Many people were looking for Ben Tavares, but he faded into janitorial history. He probably went back to Mexico to manage his half ply shitter paper factory and get many contracts from prisons, schools and nut houses. He also developed a hand cleaning machine that would dispense one drop of soap when your fingers naturally went through the half ply paper. To this day, at Central State University, each female toilet still has a faded plaque with his immortal words, “Two pieces per pud”.
No comments:
Post a Comment