Saturn Retailer "Jim Phillips" speaks!

You remember me from my last post, don't ya? Well, this time the damned company went OUT OF BUSINESS! No more commercials, no more cars, no more paychecks! What the hell am I supposed to do now? Be the coffee machine man for a Lexus dealership? Hell, at least they are still in business! Brother Evan is right, we need to "split some wigs up in here" and damn fast! This country is going to hell in a Chinese-made handbasket! Hell, maybe Tyler Perry can use me and my family for his next sitcom! Brother Evan has said that he who hesitates isn't going anywhere fast, or some crap like that. You know, Brother Evan changed my life since I started listening to his show. Just yesterday, he called asking for a donation! Donation my ass! I can't even make MY Saturn payment, those bastards are repossessing my new Saturn Aura as we speak! What the hell!
Brother Evan needs money to continue his "ministry" but I'll be damned if I can even give him one dime! He needs money, badly! Listen to the Brother Evan Show on any right-wing radio station in your area, shouldn't be hard, since that is all there is, at around any time(they have a habit of time-shifting his show a lot). Become an advertiser for Brother Evan. Hell, Saturn used to be one, no look at what happened to them! Brother Evan is going to be hosting his own "moneython" on HSN/QVC shortly. Make sure you call often. Praise Brother Evan's Unholy Name! Remember, you can find Brother Evan wherever there is an all-you-can-eat buffett, preferably Chinese, in your area. Brother Evan rarely gets out of the B-D-B Habitatal Area for fear of being pounced on for his views, Praise His Unholy Name! If you happen to see a 10 year old Camry going by, just wave, it might be Brother Evan. He was thinking of going American, but said they are all crap anyway! What the hell? Brother Evan supports our troops around the world, albeit without having served himself, and is a huge supporter of our former VP, Dick Cheney. Brother Evan is starting a Cheney for President site soon, and will, of course, be asking for donations! Brother Evan promises that at LEAST 5% will go to Cheney with the rest going for Brother Evan's massive overhead, hey, he has to make a living also!
Well, got to go service those Keurig machines in the Lexus dealer. Damn, wish I could afford one!

What the Saturn Retailer Really Said!

You all have seen the commercial with "Jim Phillips" the Saturn retailer since 2001. Turn off the sound and you will know what he is really saying:
"I've been a fuckin' Saturn dealer since 2001, and now GM says that they are gonna shut this division down? Fuck dat! What the hell am I gonna do? I haven't had a customer since the damn Cash For Clunkers ran out! Even then, I was only doing about four cars a week. Do you know how hard it is to unload a 1974 Buick 225? I got a wife and five kids. Somebody better start buyin' this shit, or else I'm goin' TU! I got bills to pay! I haven't paid my mortgage in over a year!
If someone doesn't start buying these fuckin' POS's, then I'm gonna have to start splittin' some wigs up in here."
"I fully agree with Brother Evan, I'm a dedicated listener and I am ON THE WALL with Brother Evan! Shit, Brother Evan, how 'bout buyin' one of my Saturn's instead of keepin' that POS Toyota Camry!"
Stay tuned for further updates on Jim Phillips Saturn.

Friday's Brother Evan Show

Join Brother Evan today as he rants at these goddamn Socialist, Marxist, Trotskyite, Progressive, Liberal Bastards! Today Brother Evan quotes from the scriptures of Jonah Goldberg, Praise his unholy name! Brother Evan also rants about that damn Socialist, Progressive, Margaret Sanger, who led the Nazi movement further down the road of depravity. Condoms, birth control pills, the morning after pills, all instruments of the DEVIL! Praise his unholy name! Join Brother Evan this weekend at any Tea Party, without the tea and scones, in Palm Beach/Broward Counties. Join Brother Evan is screaming, ranting and shouting down anybody that wants to actually speak about the TOPIC at these meetings! Brother Evan cannot do this work alone, my friends, he needs your support. So this weekend, take the kids, Bubbe, and the whole fandamly to Delray Indoor Gun Range and Sales and have a real family weekend of fun! Shoot at your favorite politician on a paper target, or bring your own favorite photo of someone you hate, and they will silkscreen it for you! While there, have some hot dogs and diet sodas, don't forget to enter the "all you can eat hot dog contest" for only $10 extra, and buy a gun for each member of the family. Discount rates for kids under 5! For each dollar spent at Delray Indoor Gun Range, they will donate .05 to The Brother Evan Show. So, goddamnit, buy or eat something! Sign petitions for: Birthers, Deathers, Tenthers, or any other organization of your choice. Each participant gets a wallet-sized copy of the Bill of Right, don't worry, it only has the Second and Tenth Amendments. Those other Marxist, Socialist, Trotskyite, Progressive Amendments don't mean a thing! Who needs free speech when you have a gun and can secede from the Union! Brother Evan will be speaking in Austin, TX next month, supporting the Texas governor in wanting to break up Texas into five states! With those 10 more Republican senators, we can take back this country and make it safe for people like us! Praise Brother Evan, praise his unholy name! Special rates at the Austin Super 8, $250 a night with free continental breakfast with Brother Evan, but not too early!
Stay tuned for more details of the next Brother Evan Show, coming to a low-power AM station near you, really near, as these damn transmitters only have a range of 1 mile! Set one up in your garage/attic and become part of the Brother Evan Network Family, franchise information is available. Brother Evan ain't doin' this crap for free!

Last Kennedy Gone

I can remember as a kid in elementary school seeing President Kennedy inaugurated and always on some news conferences. Then, one day, while home from school sick, saw him killed. I called my mother at work, they did not know, and the people there turned on the radio and listened.
I also remember seeing Robert Kennedy shot in LA, and thinking that this family has some curse.
Now, today, hearing that Ted Kennedy is gone, there are no longer any Kennedy members that link me to my past. Things go on, people die, events disappear in the mists of time. I feel a little older today. As figures from my past disappear, I wonder, when will my time come to just disappear.

Those Marxist, Socialist Bastards!

Join today's Brother Evan Show where he rants about those Socialist, Marxist Bastards, who, under the aegis of Barney Frank, Fannie Mae, Freddie Mac, got special low interest loans to buy homes/condos/workforce housing that they couldn't afford in the first place! Damn these Marxists who, unlike good working Americans who have to get conventional loans, secure government program loans! Damn these Marxist/Trotskyites/Socialists who find themselves in a crack now, have to, again, look to the government to help "bail" them out with loan revisions!
Join Brother Evan in taking these people to task! These Marxist bloodsuckers who take advantage of the system! Praise Brother Evan! Praise his unholy name! Join Brother Evan, after the commercials of course, in signing a pledge never to participate in such Marxist loan programs. Brother Evan has said before that he would rather live in a refrigerator carton than take this kind of loan money! Catch Brother Evan on Fox News being interviewed in front of said Marxist housing, cursing the people who live there! Must see TV! Tomorrow: Brother Evan rants about "Death Panels" and how they REALLY are real, really they are! Don't let Bubbe be put out of her misery! Hey, Brother Evan ain't makin' this crap up!

Up Late with a terrible headache

Just on the computer listening to WABC streaming radio, another "conservative" mouthpiece. Why am I listening, can't stream Joey Reynolds on WOR! Have to figure out how to get their proprietary streaming software to work on Ubuntu. As to this Ubuntu, am loving it! After using OS/2 since 1993, I am completely in love with Ubuntu Linux. It has everything OS/2 had, the best of Windows(if there are any!) and the ease of operation that allows me to do anything I want with this operating system. Hey, it is FREE! Just for ease of operation, I have it on all the computers, including the old Dell laptop, Inspiron 1000. Geri even has it, albeit with an XP partition, strictly for work compatibility.
Back to the headache. Since my old injuries and the other disabilities, when one of these nerve pinching headaches starts, nothing short of the Vicodin and my anti-anxiety meds has any effect. The damn thing has a life of its own, it will last a week, then go away for a few months. Geri bought me a Tempur-Pedic pillow, which helps a great deal. After a week of the meds and basically being immobile as much as possible, the headache abates. Being on the computer, reading the newsgroups and interacting with the FB account, and of course this blog, helps focus my mind on something else besides the pain.
The amount of medications that I have to take since the breakdown is just getting ridiculous. I am having to break in half the anti-depressant in order to make it last longer. The reason for this is that it is not on the damn formulary and has an enormous co-pay. We are using part of my disability insurance check to help pay for Geri's dental work. That money was part of my school board benefit, long term disability, and I am damn glad that I had it, if finally paid off after all of those years as carrying it as an option on the health plan. It will run out next year, and hopefully it will last long enough for Geri to get her dental work completed. Getting older is a bitch!
I am so proud of Geri's weight loss program, she is only four pounds from her goal and has reduced her diabetic meds a lot! I love her so much, and I want her around for a long time! She looks great and is feeling great!
We are getting ready to start our preparations for going to Enid for the birth of our second grandchild. Looks like we will have to drive, takes three days just to get to OK! We will take Marco, our coolers of drinks, chips, fruit, and other foods to be as self-sufficient as possible. It makes me feel very good that Brooke wants Geri to be there instead of her real mother. Brooke loves Geri and thinks of her as her real mom. I hope that we can get there before the baby is born, but you know kids, when they get ready to come, they will not wait for us to get there from Florida!
Well, back to the newsgroups, emails and listening to internet radio. Hopefully in about two hours these meds will kick in and I can actually go to sleep without laying there miserable.
Tomorrow is laundry day, yeah! How can two people have so damn much laundry? That is for another day and another topic/rant.

Brain Droppings on Sunday Afternoon

Just had the hurricane shutters taken off one of the sliding doors. What we won't do for our little boy, Marco! He was depressed by the darkness and by not being able to go out and do his business on his little courtyard "yard". As I write this, he is in his little sheepskin "mattress" by my side. Has anyone ever had a pet that "glued" themselves to you so much? That is the nature of dachshunds.
I wrote a "comedy" routine this morning while drinking my coffee. I emailed it out to a couple of my friends. I said that I should have been a comedy writer instead of a teacher, more money, less mental/physical stress. Of course, I didn't say "comedian" because as a teacher, that was what I was all those years, just keeping the "audience" laughing and not rushing the "stage" for an hour.
My friends, Brother Evan and Big n' RICH are reading my blog, I need to get more "face time" with the general public, but you have to start somewhere!
I am trying to get Brother Evan his own radio show, 30 minutes would be all he could afford on a station. Don't know how he would get his "message" out having to use 25 of the 30 minutes shilling with commercials and only 2-3 minutes of psycho phone calls! "And now, Brother Evan, praise his unholy name!" "But first, a word from the "Conservative Alte Cacher Buffett. All the food you can shovel in your puss. Of course, all the food is on the "Right" side of the building, along with the seating! Tell'em Brother Evan sent you and get .10 off with a coupon printed off the web. Praise his unholy name!" Am in the process of writing the first "script" for the Brother Evan Show. As usual, all donations accepted! Large bills only, NO CHANGE!

Evan,
No comments on the old cars? Looks like your "bullet points" were taken verbatim from some source, maybe the Internet?
You need to become a "follower of the blog" to see the constant updates. Look on the right side of the blog and become a follower, then you can see the daily posts and comment on them in real time.
I wrote the "Ballad of ?" this morning while drinking coffee. I will email it to you. This will be an off blog email. Don't feel too depressed today, just because it is Sunday. I always felt that way on Sunday night, knowing what was coming the next morning.

Connected with some of my former students, the GOOD ones when I was teaching. Nice to get in touch again. It has been brutal this week having no primary car. Taking Geri to work everyday and picking her up is really getting to me. It is the heat, the damn HOT weather, especially in my car, no a/c, and I know that Geri is suffering also. Wish that we had the extra money to rent a car, but that is not in the cards right now. So, we are soldiering on driving the 41 Chrysler, at least it is paid for. Northlake Chrysler/Dodge/Jeep better find out what the hell is wrong with the Caliber ASAP! It is some damn computer thing. I have an appointment with the Rod Shop in Stuart September 1st to have my brakes readjusted after the breaking in period and to have Ed see what the vibration at idle in gear is. The rear pinion seal is still leaking after he fixed it, so he said "No Charge". I will believe it when I see it!
How did my grandpa drive around all those years without a/c? When I was a little kid in the 51 Dodge Coronet, I guess that I didn't know about a/c. When he had the 55 Dodge Royal, I knew then that a/c was vital! His last car, a 64 Dodge Dart was a sharp car, but no a/c! All grandpa wanted was Fluid Drive or full automatic, he hated to shift gears. I found that out when he drove my 52 Pontiac on time, he kept his foot on the clutch like a footrest and was in high gear by 10mph, lugging the engine the entire time! I miss him so much, he was like my own dad.

Heard from Gene and Susan!

Just received an email from our friends Gene and Susan Schlicher a few moments ago. They are enjoying living in Europe and hopefully will return to Florida soon. Speaking of friends, I am trying to get my teacher buddies to get on Facebook or to start a blog.
Just listening to the Joe and Mika Show on WABC now, it is part of my daily routine. Marco is sleeping, but after the show will want his "snucks" or lunch. He loves broccoli, carrots and some sweet apple. Guess that will keep him healthy!
Geri's car crapped out again yesterday morning and had to take it to the Dodge dealer. Mysterious problem that does not have any engine lights to help diagnose. I had to take her in my '41 Windsor sedan, no a/c, not too bad this morning, but when I pick her up this afternoon, it will be hot and humid. Let us hope that the problem is a minor glitch. The '07 Caliber has never given us any problems so far, gets 27-33mpg and has been on two very long road trips: Mobile, AL to see Raymond, Jen and the baby, and to OKC too see my mother, who was having medical problems. We have to get this fixed quickly, can't see us going to Mobile for Christmas in the old Chrysler! It would make it, no problems, and it even has an AM radio!
Well, that is it so far today. Stay tuned for further developments.

New Grandbaby Coming

Just heard great news last night from my daughter, she is expecting a baby. Hey, I'm too young to be a grandpa. The baby is due the last of January, and Geri and I will go up to OK to see our newest grandbaby. Brooke said the ultrasound shows it is a little girl, that will be our second girl grandbaby, Raymond and Jen have baby Rebekah, who is over a year old now.
Hopefully, Brooke will call all the other relatives and let them know.
On the home front, Geri's car had to go into the dealer, so I will have to take her to work in my 1941 Chrysler, no a/c! It won't be too bad in the morning, but afternoons will be terrible.
Finding a lot of SCTV people on Facebook. Neat. Well, have to go eat. More later.

Up and Running!

Just created this new blog, based on Count Floyd, SCTV's most famous character, using his famous quote, "What do you mean there's no movie?" This will be the musings and goings on of the Grimes' family from beautiful Hobe Sound, Florida. I have a beautiful wife, Geri, who is a professional medical technician, myself, a retired teacher(thank God for the retired part!), and our little "boy", Marco, a sweet, red miniature dachshund. My interests include: computers, reading, antique cars, music and being with my family.
I own a 1941 Chrysler Windsor 4-door sedan that we found in Phoenix with only 22K original miles on the odometer. Geri and I go to car shows having fun showing our car.
Geri and I love NYC and eventually hope to live in Manhattan and escape this Florida heat and humidity!
Well, I am sure that there will be more to come later, but for now, OOOOOOOWWWWW!